STAND OUT! My Defiance.

Open up your eyes, take a look at me
Get the picture fixed in your memory
I'm driven by the rhythm like the beat of a heart
And I won't stop until I start
To stand out
To stand out
Some people settle for the typical thing
Livin' all their lives waiting in the wings
It ain't a question of "if", just a matter of time
Before I move to the front of the line
Once you're watching every move that I make
You gotta believe that I got what it takes
To stand out, above the crowd
Even if I gotta shout out loud
'Til mine is the only face you'll see
Gonna stand out ... 'Til ya notice me
If the squeaky wheel's always gettin' the grease I'm totally devoted to disturbing the peace
And I'll do it all again, when I get done
Until I become your number one
No method to the madness, and no means of escape
Gonna break every rule or bend them all outta shape
It ain't a question of "how", just a matter of when
You get the message that I'm tryin' to send
I'm under a spell, I'm in over my head
And you know I'm going all the way to the end
To stand out, above the crowd
Even if I gotta shout out loud
'Til mine is the only face you see
Gonna stand out ... 'Til ya notice me
If I could make you stop and take a look at me instead of just, walkin' on
There's nothin that I wouldn't do if it was gettin' you to notice I'm alive
All I need is half a chance, a second thought, a second glance
To prove, I got whatever it takes
It's a piece of cake
To stand out, above the crowd
Even if I gotta shout out loud
'Til mine is the only face you'll see
Gonna, stand out, staaaand out
Stand out!
Stand out!
'Til mine is the only face you'll see
Gonna stand out
'Til ya notice me

Here I am sitting at work, the only one in my department, even my boss is long gone for her holiday sabbatical. And of course when there's no real reason to push yourself to do your work on a timely basis you end up thinking and doing other potentially dangerous things...or potentially great things. I've come to terms with myself and have acknowledged that I am a very defiant person. Though I may falter from time to time and the steadying process is quite the challenge, I thrive on trying to defy life and everything and everyone and will always push through. It's just an inevitably innate part of who I am. Which makes me realise that no matter how much I want to throw the towel in or put up my white flag and just pull the dirt in over me, there is this unknown force inside of me that says in an ever increasing whisper that soon hits an amazing crescendo of 'HELL NO! STAND OUT DAMN IT!'
Sometimes the hardest people to convince of their infinite worth are ourselves. Even if religion isn't something you're keen on, you are still of infinite worth. Regardless of your beliefs, regardless of your thoughts on God or anything like that, there is still such a thing as infinite worth. It IS what we ARE. Sure others can give us support and love and practice numerous tactics to aid in the process of bringing us to self-realization and self-actualization, but the only one that can convince us 'for the win' is us. Yes, we are our best teachers. We just have to pay attention to ourselves so we can get an A+ in the course. So many times we give, give, give advice to others that we ourselves need to follow but are to blinded by the opposition of life trying to keep us from noticing how much valuable information we are spewing out to those around us when all we need to do is just look inside ourselves and take our own advice. Sometimes taking isn't a bad thing. Of course life isn't going to be a peach all the time, but why not try to make it into a deliciously golden peach cobbler? You may have to work at that deliciously golden peach cobbler and go through a couple or several disgustingly charred peach cobblers but you are working at it nonetheless. Though your efforts may seem at times in vain, there is always manna after the famine, rain after the draught, the promised land after the wandering in the wilderness, the light after the dark (thus we have day and night). Opposition in all things. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. I may be stupid sometimes, but I'm not unintelligent. There's a difference, and people don't really grasp that intelligent people are sometimes stupid. But that's where we are human.
Well, dear readers, it's time for me to get back to my money making duties.
Happy Monday.

I should be in bed...

Do you ever wake up one day and realise that all your nightmares have become your realities? And if they haven't all already sunk in as such, they're very soon to leave their venom without any notice of the fang-marked bite. The sickeningly thick chill that surges through your veins takes over and soon your body and mind succumb to reality paralysis.
Upon the intense pondering of my life and the harshness it has brought upon me the last couple months, I regretfully say that my nightmares are swiftly becoming my realities and day to day life is a vast growing bewilderment and a burden. In these hours that I should be in bed gaining all the physical strength I need to get me through, I am finding out more and more about myself and how urgently I need to find a soothing mechanism to calm my hyperbarric grief.
It seems that sometimes the only relief even if temporary is to jot things down and lay them out in plain view in hopes that this tangled woven web will be turned into a big beautiful tapestry of purpose and understanding.
It is not my intention for you to understand me nor my words, as they will often be irresponsibly confusing. I do, however, intend for you to unconditionally hear my plea for a better life, better love, better peace. My thoughts and words aren't matching up any longer and are refusing to coalesce, as my energy for the day is long spent. So goodnight, dear readers.
Pleasant dreams.

Whacky Wednesday

The day starts off rather early...in other words I didn't go to sleep until the new day had been introduced to life for about 4 hours, and though I was in an unexplainable yet magnificently chipper mood, my sub-something-er-other knew that crappiness was close at hand. As I venture out to my transportation device at a seemingly safe pace for the frigid wonderland outside, I find myself suddenly spazzing in attempt to catch my footing again. So luckily my flailing was not in vain. At least not yet. Then, not five steps later did I start the process all over again only this time gravity had won. Down I came with a *THUD!* and an "Oh-ow-oof!", my legs, purse and full-length winter coat all tangled in an odd fashion. I proceed to get up and drag myself to the machine that gets me from place to place. Thus I arive at work sleep deprived and now in increasingly copious amounts of pain, I push through the monotonous task at hand all the while wishing to be asleep in my bed which I'm sure still had traces of my sleep-time body heat.
Finally the time came for me to call it quits for the work day so I could be rescued by fond faces and taken home to eat and await a much needed chiropractic appointment. Following the theraputic relief I returned home for more adventures still. The Pita-Pit and WalMart were the focal points of the night. Afterwords returning to watch Horton Hears A Who, my friends and I pushed ourselves once more past the thin threshold of our bodies being ready to shut down for the night. And now here we are...as I sit stupidly awake at an ungodly hour once more, trying to gather my thoughts from the day.

Disclaimer, Care and Instructions: read before use.

This blog and it's administrator are in no way to be held responsible for the thoughts and actions produced by it's readers, unless they are of good result. The administrator of this blog advises that the readers of the ramblings herein take it with a grain of salt, as they are just that. This blog and it's administrator are to be free of all scruitiny and supposition unless selfproclaimed.

The views and opinions expressed in this blog are a byproduct of an attempt to escape reality and trancend all other passion. Any copyright infringement shall be prosecuted. All violators will be prosecuted.

All voices and styles in this blog are subject to change. This has been a product of Phonetic Intimacey.