Hiding Behind Glass

My eye-sight is very poor, so much so that without contact lenses or glasses I'm barely safe just walking around my house for a few minutes at a time before I break something around me or injure myself on an object I failed to see. Am I near-sighted or far-sighted? The answer is yes. As a "starving student" contacts are too expensive, so I wear this nifty invention of plastic and glass on my face and just make do. However, there is more to it than just trying to be cost effective. There is an underlying hope that I wear with them. (It must be that "special coating" they charge you an extra seventy-five dollars for.) A hope that I can also hide behind the glass and be just invisible enough so that people will overlook my flaws. My glasses are my shield. My shield from emotion, my shield from reality, my shield from life. I tell people I feel more studious when I wear my glasses. Replace that S-word with safe and you've got the real reason. The glass has been looking permanently smudged and dingy for quite some time now. It's also time for a new prescription. The lack of clarity is annoying to me because my poor vision is crippled that much more, and yet it has a very calming affect. Think of a very young child who, in their simple virgin mind, believes that if they cover their eyes and face it makes them invisible to others simply because they themselves cannot see anything at the present time. "If I can't see them they can't see me". There are days when the glass isn't enough and you know that you need a better shield. Does my brain really think that this small ocular device is truly going to guard and protect me? If only I could hide behind a bigger piece of glass. For whatever reason, as transparent as it is...it keeps me safe. So I keep hiding, thinking "If I can't see you, you can't see me."